


Stalling, Stops and Restarts

by Anonymous



Category: Real Person Fiction, Scottish Actor RPF
Genre: Break Up, F/M, Fix-It, Romance, Two Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 16:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21413542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sometimes long distance relationships are hard to navigate and sometimes the easiest thing is to let go. But can you really give up being with the love of your life?
Relationships: Richard Madden/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 7
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

She sat there, playing with the handle of her mug, tea getting cold. She’d heard it in his voice. She knew what was coming. Looking around, the living room was incessantly tidy. So very different to her bedroom hidden behind the closed door. Everything was dust free and in its place. Even the breakfast bar where she sat was clear, except for the vase of flowers he’d bought her just a few days before. They were wilting slightly, but she was too scared to let them go just yet. The clock read 10:53. He’d be there in seven minutes. The photo of the two of them sat next to it. It had been taken in the summer when they’d gone to visit his parents for August bank holiday weekend and his mum had taken a picture of them without them knowing. Sitting in the rare Scottish summer sun, both holding onto a bottle of Old Mout Cider, oblivious to anything but each other. His free arm wrapped around her waist, her hand holding his face. Their smiles reached their eyes. That picture felt like a lifetime ago, not three months. It had been a long time since they’d seen each other for longer than a day or two. A long time since they’d been that happy. 

His knock on the door disrupted her daydream and she opened the door. It felt different. He always knocked and walked in, greeting her with a smile, a kiss and a hug. Not always that order, but never missing one. This time he’d half-smiled, half-hugged her and kissed her cheek. They walked to her breakfast bar. She tipped out her cold tea, turning the kettle on and making a new cup for the both of them. It was still silent, the kettle bubbling the only sound in the room.

Letting the tea steep, she sat next to him and they turned to each other. 

“I’m heading back to LA on Monday,” Richard said. 

Rachel nodded. Neither of them spoke, the silence growing longer.

“This is you saying goodbye, isn’t it?” Rachel asked, eyes looking glassier than before. He took her hands, needing to touch some part of her, to hold onto her.

“Yes.” She brought her hand to his face, mirroring the picture she was staring at before. 

Their foreheads pressed together, breaths mingling, both of them struggling to hold back the tears that were threatening to build and spill over. Neither knows how long they sat there.

“You know, if you’re saying goodbye, we need to let each other go,” she said, voice cracking at the end as she removed her hand and pulled back.

He brought his lips to her forehead. He whispered a goodbye against her hair, lingering again for longer than he should. Walking towards the door, he felt his tears start to fall as he heard her faint goodbye. Closing the door behind him, he leant against it, unable to push himself away. 

Her tears didn’t fall. Standing up, she placed the mugs in the sink. She threw the flowers in the bin, hearing the glass smash at the bottom. The picture caught her eye again and she placed it face down before making her way into her bedroom. Crawling into the unmade bed, she let out the first loud sob. That was when he walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Seven Months Later 

Rachel was walking back to her flat from the tube station, her bag full from her wander round Borough Market. While it hadn’t been the best few months, she’d been feeling more and more like herself, deciding after her birthday in March that she’d wallowed enough and it was time to start doing things again. She’d planned to go to the gym in the morning, maybe go for drinks in the afternoon. Then when she woke up, she saw the date. It was June 18th. Instead, she’d gone straight to Borough Market from the gym, bough the ingredients to make his favourite birthday cake and would invite the girls round to enjoy it with one (or more than one) bottle of his favourite wine and allow for the very last day of moping. 

It still hurt. Even though she’d succumb to the knowledge that their petty arguments about the lack of communication were heading somewhere she never thought they’d end up, there was a shattering in her chest that no relationship had caused before. A heartbreak that she didn’t think anyone else would ever really be able to fix. It had shocked everyone around her, especially her mum, 

She knew he was in the UK for his birthday. He’d heard from one of his sister’s that he’d been home the week before and she’d seen on his Instagram that he was in the city. Luckily for her, London was big enough that she wouldn’t have to see him. 

Arriving home, she turned her speaker on and put her favourite playlist of the moment on. She turned her coffee machine on and pre-heat the oven ready to make a birthday cake. She’d never been a fan of red velvet or of dark chocolate until she met him. The first food they ever shared together had been a red velvet cupcake with chocolate ganache on their first Valentines Day together the year before. They’d had to celebrate on the 15th instead because of work schedules but they’d loved sitting in her apartment, eating cupcakes on the floor, music playing in the background while they talked for hours. 

Baking had become something she loved doing recently. She’d always enjoyed cooking but baking had never really been something she was interested in until a friend had asked her to make some things for her Christmas party. It was probably a distraction tool after what had happened in the November but she was grateful it had worked. Singing along to her favourite songs while getting the precise measurements allowed her to channel her focus into something else. She’d thrown herself into work originally and, although she loved her job, her friends had seen how stressful she was, often staying at the office until midnight most weeknights. 

The cake was cooking and she figured it would be a good time to get some work done, especially if the girls were coming over later. Messages had flown back and forth in the group chat and everyone was looking forward to cake, wine and rom-coms. She pulled out the manuscript she was editing, fully getting stuck. She only paused when the timer chimed letting her know the cake was done and ready to be taken out. Popping it out and setting it on the wire rack, she turned the music up louder. It was nearing 17:00 and the girls were getting there at 18:00. Just because they weren’t planning on going out doesn’t mean she didn’t want to look good. They were bound to take some wine-drunk selfies later. 

She jumped in the shower, washed her hair, did her skincare and shaved because her favourite loungewear required smooth skin and she wanted to show off her (for once) natural tan. Her khaki shorts and white crop top showed the effort she’d been putting in at the gym. She let her hair air-dry, her soft curls forming as she moisturised her smooth legs. She applied a light layer of makeup, her skin clear and glowing. Just a little bit of MAC face and body, some light concealer, brow gel and mascara with her favourite lip oil. It had been a while since she’d felt that good. The girls had been pushing her to go out and meet someone as it had been so long but she’d lost a lot of faith in relationships and really didn’t want to meet someone else yet. Taking the time to focus on herself had allowed her to realise what she wanted in life. It just hurt that the one person she wanted most of all wasn’t likely to be back in her life. 

Checking the time, she realised that the girls would be there soon. Quickly making the ganache and covering the cake, she got the wine glasses out, pouring herself a glass just to check it was ok. She sat on the sofa, putting a random episode of Friends on Netflix to kill time until the first of her friends arrived. The theme song had barely finished when someone knocked on the door. She placed her wine on the coffee table and headed to the door.

“I’ve got a bottle already open- Richard!” Rachel said. 

Richard just stared at her for a moment. She looked as beautiful as she always did. He knew it wasn’t healthy checking her Facebook and Instagram everyday, knowing that seeing and the risk of seeing her happy with someone else would be too much. They both understood why the relationship had broken. Their jobs were demanding, his especially, and living into two different countries and time-zones had put a strain on them that seemed to be too much. It was never a matter of not loving each other enough. Richard knew he’d never fallen out of love with Rachel.

“Can I come in?” Richard asked. 

“Of course,” she said, stepping to the side. He looked good in his , she noted. He always did. 

He walked in, feeling just as nervous as he did the last time he’d walked in, except this time there was a different feeling bubbling with it. He looked around the room and his eye caught the cake sat on the breakfast bar.

“What are you doing here? I would’ve thought you’d be celebrating,” she said. 

“I was getting ready for dinner when I realised there was something wrong.”

“Are you ok?”

“No. Not really. Today is my 33rd birthday and I’ve had a really good day. I had breakfast with my family. Taron and some other guys took me for a pint. It’s been great. I’m having dinner with my family and everyone I love this evening and it hit me when I was getting ready that the one person I love most isn’t going to be there.” Rachel sucked in a breath. “She hasn’t been there for the last seven months and I’m tired of being miserable without her. Rachel, last year we made a massive mistake. I made a mistake when I allowed for us to call quits instead of trying to work things out. I walked away instead of fighting for us. Our relationship was the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have never been in love with someone the way I love you and I don’t want to spend another birthday, or any day without you.”

“Richard, I love you too, I’m so in love with you. That’s not the problem. But what happens when work gets too busy for either of us and we stop talking again? Every time we would talk towards the end, we’d just argue that we couldn’t see each other. We can’t fly back and forth every weekend because we want to see each other and I can’t move to America with my job.”

“I know. That’s why I’m moving back to London.” Rachel gasped. 

“You can’t do that. Richard, you love living in LA! You’d been planning the move since before we got together. It’s amazing for your career and what happens if you move back and resent me for it?”

“I could never resent moving back if it means I get to spend every day with the love of my life.” He took her hands the same way he had before. “My mum said something to me this morning. She said that she was proud of where I was in my life, proud of the person I was and that she hoped that life gave me everything I wanted. It was only when we left that she told me that the person I was when I was with you was the best version of me. My nieces made me blow out the candles in my pancakes and told me to make a wish. The only wish I have is that we give us a second chance because every single part of me believes that you are the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life loving.”

“There hasn’t been a day that I haven’t missed your voice, or your smile. I have to remind myself that I can’t call you to tell you about my day, or tell you about work. I miss falling asleep on your lap or in your arms on a Friday while we are watching TV. Sunday mornings are lonely without you. I don’t think I even realised just how much of you there was in my flat until I gave your sisters your things. You are in almost every part of my life and to lose that, to lose you, it’s been awful.”

“I won’t promise that everything will be perfect and that I won’t make mistakes sometimes. But if I am away filming, no more going six or seven days without speaking. If we have a problem we talk to each other.”

“I know what it’s like to be without you and I don’t ever want that again,” Rachel said. He released her hands and held her face, kissing her with everything he had in him. He’d missed her lips, the way they felt against his, they way they tasted, the way they parted to allow him in. It wasn’t until he felt her pull away that he released that their bodies were as close as they could be. 

“As much as I would love to continue this, the girls will be round soon and you have a birthday dinner to go to.”

“Actually, the girls won’t be. I messaged Chloe earlier to find out if you were home and she told the girls not to come unless I told her you said no when she wanted to know why I was so insistent.”

“I’m glad she told you. Although you still have dinner to get to and I’m going to try not to eat a whole cake by myself.”

“You made me a birthday cake even though we weren’t together?”

“I’d like to say I made a cake anyway, but when I saw the date I realised I couldn’t not make one. We always had a red velvet cupcake for any special occasion and my birthday was lonely without you, I thought I’d celebrate yours with wine and cake with the girls. Now go, I can see you tomorrow when we can finish our conversation about you moving and restarting our relationship.”

“How about I stay for a little bit? We can talk, share some wine and eat some of my cake. I’ve already seen everyone today. I want to spend the last few hours of my birthday with the only person I want to share it with. And I really want some of that cake.”

“Are you sure?”

“I always want to be with you. So yes. Let me text my mum and tell them to enjoy dinner without me. I am about to make the second part of my birthday wish come true.” 

"What's that?"

"I'm going to hold you in my arms and never let you go again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Timeline Run Down:  
(I took the liberty of changing some things around to fit this story)
> 
> Meet October 2017  
Get together February 2018  
RM moves to LA May 2018  
Break up November 2018  
Get back together June 2019


End file.
